Mindy + Dane’s Wanderlove Story

Her Name: Mindy Arnholt
Her Birthplace: Dunedin, FL
His Name: Dane Arnholt
His Birthplace: Dryden, Michigan

Where did you meet? St. Augustine, FL

Describe the very first time you met:  We met at the wedding of one of my closest college friends in college. At the time, Dane was off fighting the war and wasn’t even sure he would get back in time for the wedding. But, fate stepped in and he got home just days before the wedding.

During the cocktail hour, I noticed Dane for the first time. When dinner was ready, a ridiculous line formed. It was one of those setups where you were supposed to sign the guest book as you entered, so we were all standing around, cocktails in hand waiting to get into the reception. I had my camera with me as I’d just purchased a DSLR and felt like a fancy photographer (still shooting on Portrait mode, mind you). And then it happened.

Dane’s roommate Dan approached me and jokingly said, “Excuse me, would you mind taking a picture of me and my life partner?” I agreed and after I took a picture of the two of them, Dan said, “And just to keep up appearances- would you mind taking a picture with each of us too?” Again I agreed, and posed with each of them. As Dane put his arm around me for the photo he said, “My name’s Dane.” I shook his hand and said, “Mindy.” And that was the introduction.

After dinner, no one went to the dance floor. I’m not sure which of the three of us initiated (it was very likely me) but somehow the three of us ended up on the floor alone, dancing. The pictures are epic! Finally we started working the crowd and the floor filled up, but all night I took turns dancing with the two of them. Little did we know, that night would result in another wedding 3 years later!

Can you identify specific decisions or life events that brought you together?
Sooooo many different things.

I decided to go to that wedding single. The three of us happened to be just about the only single people there, and luckily his roommate made the first move.

Dane was in the desert for most of the beginning of our friendship and I was working at a marketing job where (as I look back) I spent way too much time sending emails to this guy I had a long-distance crush on!

We spent almost 2 years becoming best friends. We sent at least 10 messages a day to each other in the beginning and, rather than tapering off, they only increased. Pretty soon, we were talking on my way to work, during my lunch break and on my way home. I called him when I walked the dog at night. We sent funny banter back and forth every hour of the day. I remember face-timing him once while I was getting ready for a date and making him help me decide what dress to wear. We were quickly becoming virtually inseparable even though we hadn’t physically been within 1,000 miles of each other in years.

In 2014 I quit my job and backpacked SEAsia for four months. When I returned, Dane was on a mission that took him to Tampa, Florida. He landed in my hometown less than 24 hours after I got back from Asia.

As you saw more of each other, what really made you fall in love?
I fell in love with him because he was witty and clever. He was funny in a smart way and our wit perfectly matched. We could banter back and forth all day and actually found ourselves laughing out loud constantly.

The “moment” I realized I was in love with Dane happened during a shopping trip to Ikea. I saw I vase I liked and thought, “How cool is this?? Wouldn’t this go great with the lamp I just bought?” I took a picture of the vase and sent it to Dane with a question mark. Because naturally, if Dane helps me get ready for dates, he is also aware of my current redecorating mission and is helping me shop virtually. He wrote back immediately and said, “That would look great with the lamp you just bought!”

And that was that. I knew. Dane took about 6 more months to have the same epiphany, but love is a very windy road.

Did your love face any big challenges? Any differences you had to work through?
Distance and timing. I lived in Florida for about a year while he was stationed in Kansas. He deployed to the desert all the time. Then I went backpacking (partly because I felt like it was time for me to get over him). While I was gone, he realized he loved me, but I was not interested in changing my life just because he had finally come around. When I got back, he happened to end up in Tampa for a week and that started everything really moving, but then I moved to New York to chase a dream and found myself having to make a very real decision after about a year there: was I willing to give up that dream to chase a new one of a life together with Dane? I finally decided to move to Kansas with him.  I flew out there, signed a lease for an apartment, started interviewing for an incredible job and then when he got back from yet another deployment we flew to Florida to get all of my stuff.  We were ¾ of the way back to Kansas, in Texas, when he got a phone call that said he was being sent to Okinawa, Japan in four months.

“What do you think of Japan?” Dane

“I like sushi,” Mindy

“No, I mean to live.” Dane

“Like, instead of Kansas?” Mindy

“Yes.” Dane

“What about my stuff?” Mindy

“I guess we’d have to take it with us.” Dane

“Let’s do it.” Mindy

“There’s just one other thing, I can’t take my girlfriend to Japan.” Dane

“Does that mean I could get stuck in Kansas??????””Mindy

“No, I mean, we’d have to get married.” Dane

“Please don’t tell me that was my proposal.” Mindy

Talk about throwing a wrench in everything!! Instead of living separately in Kansas for a year while we learned how to date in the same town, we were now getting married and moving to Japan. There have been so many challenges associated with working through the best friend to lovers thing. We were intimately involved in every aspect of each other’s life before we fell in love, so that presented all kinds of obstacles when it came to getting over all the stuff we knew about each other.

How do the places you have been together help define or shape your relationship?
Our whole life together has been a series of trips. Trips to see each other. Trips that made us realize we were something that was worth fighting for. Trips that kept him away from me. Trips that brought us back together in unexpected locations. We are both travelers at heart and the places we have been define us.

Are there any locations that are special to you as a couple?

St. Augustine, Florida: Our first kiss.

Tampa, Florida: Our second first kiss, two years later.

Guthrie, Oklahoma: Where we said we loved each other.

Wichita, Kansas: Our first “almost” home together- we would have been living in separate apartments but, it was our first chance to call the same town home.

Austin, Texas: Where we got engaged (sort of!) It’s where we got the call about moving to Okinawa and decided we were going to take that leap and make the move together…but we’d have to get married first.

St. Petersburg, Florida: Where we were married and spent the best week of our lives with our family and closest friends less than a month before moving to Japan.

Tanzania, Africa: Our honeymoon

Okinawa, Japan: Our first home. Our first time living in the same place. Our first time living with someone as more than roommates. Our favorite, favorite place in the world.